~~Daily Thanksgivings~~

“Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do."

Benjamin Spock

Good Sunday Morning Cali Friends, what are you thankful for today?

Today I am thankful for...

1.  Ron and our neighbor will be working to secure a wiggly fence across our back yard, the fence is in great shape but the posts are rotting, so by   doing what they will be doing, they can extend the life of the fence another 10 years.  I am thankful they know what they're doing!

2.  For yummy coffee and how it warms my tummy on this cooler morning.

3,  For my healthy and happy lifestyle.

OK your turn, what are you thankful for today?

2. 

Hi Barb Today I am thankfulfor my family who I am visiting. My great friends who I will help get through some hard times. Feeling great and being able to run the streets.

Sorry to be a downer, but maybe I will feel better if I write it!

ABSOLUTELY NOT A G*D DAMN THING!!!!

Feel taken advantage of by everyone I know, friends, family, children.  I keep give, give, giving and it is seemingly for nothing!  The more I give, the more that is taken and the more that is expected.  Fine when my kids were little, but they are 17 and 19 now.  Enough already!!  Don't even get me started on the S.O.  I think he needs to become the SOB for now!

Sorry about that, it doesn't even make me feel better.  Maybe someone else will see it and be in the same spot too and know that there is at least one other person out there that feels the same way

Jillie,

Well I can relate....

I have two kids that haven't talked to me in over 2 years and I have three grandchildren two of which I've never seen one who is now almost 3 and I haven't seen him since he was 5 months old.   Bottom line, I am a great Mom who gave everything I could for my kids when they were growing up even to the sacrifice of myself.  I decided that the only thing my then husband and I had in common was the kids and he combined with the fact that he had a thing for women at his jobs (of course my kids didn't know that) so I decided to make a change for myself.  My kids sided with him and he played the victim.  What I have learned throughout the process is that you can't change who people are, you can only change yourself and how you deal with it.  So to this point, I have had weight loss surgery which my kids don't know about, I am healthier physically and mentally than I ever have been, I am married to a wonderful man who supports me and loves me for me and we have lots in common and I am living my life.  My husband has a great saying F_c_ them and feed them beans!  I say it to myself all the time and it helps me to get in touch with the fact that I cannot change who they are as people, and it's their loss.  Does it make me sad, of course it does but I WILL NOT let it tear me down, I REFUSE to give them that type of power.  I would gladly accept them back in to my life at ANY time but there will be ground rules.  I am able to forgive but I will never forget and I will never allow them to hurt me again.

Surround yourself with friends and family who care and move on from the problem.  They will either figure it out or they wont.  For me the thing that helped me most is to realize that this is THEIR choice, not mine.  I have extended the olive branch on so many occasions only to have the door slammed in my face.  I will NOT being a doormat anymore.  I will not buy their love anymore.  I will not compete with my ex, because in the end they learn nothing but how to pit one side against the other to get what they want.  Ain't going there.  Once I accepted this, I have become at peace with myself.  I have accepted the fact that I may never be a part of my grand kids lives, but again this was not my choice and I won't have to explain it to them.  I've moved on in a healthy way.  I am proud of who I am and how I live my life.  I look for the good in life and what I do have.  Life's too short.

So please know I do care and I understand where you are.  I urge you to get some counseling and suggest buying a book by Sarah Ban Breathnach called Excavating Your Authentic Self it was a real eye opener for me.

Hugs,
Barb

Jillie...yes, I do understand and I also understand that the anger comes from the pain of being hurt.  I swear, Barb told my story, she's just further along in the healing process ^_^

I'm still fighting the sometime depression that hits me every so often...when I let my 'anger protection' down.  Yes, the anger does serve a purpose but only for a little while.  We must find alternatives to handling our emotions and our reactions to the dirt 'life' throws at us.

Saying 'NO' as you have done is the beginning ^_^  Do something just for YOU...that nobody else has anything to say anything about...And after your anger is back under control....tell your sons and SO how you feel about their behaviour.  Then tell them you will not allow yourself to be drawn in again...that some of their problems they will just have to figure out themselves.  You won't earn any browning points but you will feel empowered and in control of your life once again.

I pray that you will be comforted in your pain and hurt, Jillie.  Believe me, there are plenty of us who feel we have given all we can...and been hurt in the process.  You definitely are not alone...I'm here any time you want someone to talk to or a shoulder to cry on or an ear to listen. ^_^
{{{Hugs}}}
Nancy aka Sunray

Today I am thankful for

Dougie who put up with me being crazy yesterday, but we had a great time

Friends who will do anything for you....thank you all for taking such good care of me.

Genorisity of people.  I am amazed how wonderful and sweet people really are...(the person I am talking about knows who they are)

I am praying for your FIL and hope they find out everything is ok....love to you and Ron, Diane

I'm late Barb but better than not at all ;-)

Today I am Thankful for:

A productive day...getting closets and rooms cleaned.

A 'words don't properly describe him' husband...too many positive points to mention..but he is a KEEPER!

A job I am able to go to in the morning...just learned my DIL lost hers 3 weeks ago (she lives in Washington and I hadn't heard from her..now I know why :-(

Hope Bert and Isla are on the mend, Barb....hugs to you and Ron!
Nancy aka Sunray